Enquirer Exclusive! Metro official says: "Take hang gliders."

"I'm not happy with the customer service we have, and I'm not happy with the reliability of service."
(John B. Catoe Jr., via Washington Post, 3/7/2008)

Don't take Metro?

In an exclusive interview, Metro Spokesperson Steven Taubenkibel reportedly told a source with no knowledge of the situation that Metro "definitely, but possibly maybe" will not be able to handle the increase in rush hour volume on the Green Line, and that fans should not attempt to drive or take Metro to Nationals Park. Instead, according to sources with no knowledge of the situation, Metro is encouraging fans to "purchase hang gliders" and "fly their way in". Just don't try and radio in for help. Stan Kasten unavailable for comment.

Meanwhile...

• Our favorite headline of the spring so far: "Patterson happy and relaxed: Right-hander healthy for first time since 2005". Good news.
• Stuck in the middle with you.
• Ok, so maybe it's not Arbor Day, but golly if these tree-plantin' stories don't get me all revved up.
• Esmailyn Gonzalez.

(Photo by Sky Masters School of Hang Gliding)