The Nationals Enquirer

Nationals Fireworks Fail Redux

(Photo of post-Nationals Fireworks Fail Redux on TV by Nationals Enquirer Staff)

"We've got to win a little more for [the fireworks operators] to get some practice."
(Josh Bard, via Washington Post, 7/5/2009)

With apologies to Dan Steinberg, who has lovingly documented the 2009 Nationals Fail Series in all its gory glory, we feel obligated to capture the latest in the series: Nationals Fireworks Fail Redux. As you remember, Dan reported on the original Nationals Fireworks Fail last month; yesterday, they nearly* took it up a level.

In the 9th inning, leading 5-3 with two outs in the 9th and Chipper Jones at the plate facing Mike MacDougal and a 3-2 count, Jones fouled off the next pitch. Setting off: Fireworks! Momentarily. Seems someone on the Nationals pyrotechnics team has an itchy trigger finger. Jones walked on the next pitch. In the photo above, you can see the post-Fireworks smoke courtesy of MASN. Here's how Chico Harlan of the Washington Post saw it:

Washington tempted an agonizing ending. Closer Mike MacDougal gave up a single to Prado, then faced Jones, the potential tying run. With the count 3-2, Jones fouled off a fastball.

Cued for a victory, a few fireworks shot up from right field.

Bang, zoom, oops.

No harm done, though: a Curly W in the book a few pitches later. Bang, zoom, etc. 

*We qualified the above with "nearly" because the Nats pulled out the win. If MacDougal had blown it in the 9th like he looked hell-bent on doing, this would have taken Nationals Fail to an entirely new level. Keep in mind, there are still 83 games to go.

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The Olsen Also Rises

(Photo of Scott Olsen on TV by Nationals Enquirer Staff. Maybe Jim Bowden knew what he was doing?)

"When Manny walked off the mound in the eighth, I heard 'em."
(Scott Olsen, via Washington Post, 7/5/2009)

Braves Tasered by Olsen.

Nats 5, Braves 3: Olsen solid again, almost finished what he started.

Phew! Raise your hand if you were convinced Mike MacDougal was going to blow it for Scott Olsen in the 9th.

Raise your hand if you feel dumb for making Nyjer Morgan/Nook Logan jokes last week.

Congratulations to Ryan Zimmerman, All Star (it had to be someone).

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Holiday Cheer!

(AP Photo/Nick Wass. #44 provides the 4th of July Fireworks.)

"It says a lot about the way the team battled back. They have been doing it the whole season. Forget about the record. These guys play hard. They put together good at-bats."
(Manny Acta, via Nationals dot com, 7/4/2009)

Manny Acta would like you to forget about the record.

Nats 5, Braves 3: Dunn's 300th provides wakeup call in the 7th; big rally in 8th gives Lannan his 6th.

Mike MacDougal is a walking heart attack in the 9th.

Nats declare their independence from Gutless Jesus Colome. Welcome back Jason Bergmann; hope to see you here for longer than a week this time.

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From bad to worse than awful.

"I think everything is frustrating. I don't know how many times you can sit here and say we're better than what we are."
(Adam Dunn, via Washington Post, 7/4/2009)

BOOOOOOOO!

Braves 9, Nationals 8: Yup, Detwiler stunk, and Colome, Villone, & Tavarez stunk out the joint again.

That's 9 losses out of the last 11, but who's counting?

Maybe Manny needs to try a longer team meeting next time? Or hand out lollipops to the guys? Hey, when does NatsTown start the Fire Manny Acta movement again?

Ross Detwiler makes a good case for J.D. Martin's promotion.

Gutless Jesus Colome refuses to face the music after the game (via Washington Times):

The reliever, whose ERA is now 8.40, declined to comment. "Not today. I don't feel good today," Colome said.

Meanwhile...0-4, 1BB, 1SB for new leadoff man Nook Logan Endy Chavez Brandon Watson Nyjer Morgan.

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Felipe Alou knows the Expos when he sees them...

A few of our favorite Nats-related quotes from today's papers...

Former Expos manager Felipe Alou, commenting on the sorry state of the Nationals in the Montreal Gazette:

"The way I see it, they are the Washington Nationals now. And they are true to the last few years in Montreal - a last-place team, no fans, a beautiful stadium. It's too sad.

"Hopefully, it'll work in the future, but it's like a warning of some sort."
(Felipe Alou, via Montreal Gazette, 7/3/2009)

Lastings Milledge, from today's Bradenton Herald: He just needs a chance!

"I need a chance, like last year. I just need somebody to believe I can get it done and be patient, because I’m not a very good April, May guy. Sometimes that kind of hurt me. I just need time to play. There’s always going to be somebody breathing down your back, but to the extent where I still have a chance."
(Lastings Milledge, via Bradenton Herald dot com, 7/3/2009)

Mike Rizzo on why Lastings Milledge didn't deserve a fair shake in Washington: Sorry, Lastings, it's about Character!

"It's a huge part of the puzzle...It's a huge part of the makeup of a championship-caliber club. I've been on several championship clubs in the big leagues, and you don't win unless you have guys in the clubhouse that have character, that stick together and that play as a unit."
(Mike Rizzo, via Washington Times, 7/3/2009)

Joel Hanrahan, on why he stunk in Washington, from the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review: He wasn't pitching inside enough!

"I don't know what it was...I made some good pitches over there that they were getting hits on. I probably wasn't pitching inside enough."
(Joel Hanrahan, via Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, 7/3/2009)

Finally, here's DC Lawyer Stanley M. Brand, from today's Washington Post, on why Scott Boras won't be able to pull off his Strasburg-to-Japan trickery:

"It's an important concept under the law," Brand said. Strasburg, he said, "wasn't born [in Japan]. He hasn't voted there. He doesn't own property there. [A claim of residency] looks like what it is: a ruse to get around the draft."
(Stanley Brand, via Washington Post, 7/3/2009)

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Stan Kasten, playing hardball in Strasburg negotiations.

(AP Photo. Did Stan Kasten take a bat to Scott Boras's Land Rover in CA on Monday night?)

"We intend to be aggressive."

(Stan Kasten, via Washington Post, 6/9/2009) 

Strasburg Negotiations Heat Up: Stan F#cks up Scott Boras's car?

All quiet on the Stephen Strasburg front until news broke yesterday that Scott Boras's Land Rover was smashed up outside a restaurant on Monday night (via Costa Del Mar Today, H/T to Deadspin):

Someone caused $2,000 in damage to sports agent Scott Boras’s Land Rover while he was parked at Bandera Restaurant on Monday evening, police records state.

The agent told police that his car was parked in the lot at 3201 East Coast Highway between 9:15 and 10:10 p.m. Monday when someone used an unknown hard, long object (baseball bat maybe?) to strike the front and driver’s side window. No other details were available Wednesday morning.

Anonymous sources with no knowledge of the situation tell the Nationals Enquirer that Stan Kasten was seen fleeing the area; Stan told the Washington Post in June he intends to be aggressive in the Strasburg negotiations with Boras, but this might be taking it too far.

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Miami Vise

(AP Photo/Lynne Sladky. It's getting hard to watch; 0-9 in '09, 23 losses in last 26 against the Marlins.)

"It's been a long year for us. Everything [goes] right for them every time they play us. We made some errors; we're not able to bring guys home from third with less than two out; our bullpen's not doing the job. It's just a combination of everything."
(Julian Tavarez, via Washington Post, 7/1/2009)

Fish Curse!

Marlins 5, Nationals 3: What a mess. It's the bullpen, again. And a lack of timely hitting. And, it's the Marlins.

According to sources with no knowledge of the situation, the Nationals just stranded another runner on base.

Hey, nice debut for Sean "Burn Baby Burn" Burnett and his crooked cap! He'll fit right in around here - blows the lead to the first batter he faced as a National in the 7th; Julian Tavarez and Mike MacDougal team up to blow the game in the 8th.

Another wasted effort: Solid start for Jordan Zimmermann; plus 2 hits and an RBI. But he needed to go nine today to win this one.

Silver lining: Just one E for Ryan Zimmerman!

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The beginning of the end of the Elijah Dukes Era in D.C.

(AP Photo. Not even the Little League Moms could save Elijah Dukes this time.)

Operation De-Bowdenization rumbles along...

Elijah Dukes sent packing to AAA Syracuse.

Austin Kearns, Ronnie Belliard somehow survive Mike Rizzo's axe for another day.

Rizzo and Manny Acta say it's for Dukes' own good, but we don't believe they believe that for a second. Our "sources" with no knowledge of the situation say there's a 50/50 chance you'll never see Elijah Dukes in a Washington Nationals uniform again.

"I didn't see the consistent at-bats I wanted Elijah to have. I think he understands this is a developmental process... He can use this time to right himself down there."
(Mike Rizzo, via Nationals Journal, 7/1/2009)

"He's not a finished product. Obviously, he was in a little bit of a slump the last month here. He needs to get down there and get his swing back. But for the most part, just work on his overall game. He's still very young and talented, and that's basically it. I don't think we were going to be doing him any help by just sitting him here."
(Manny Acta, via Chatter, 7/1/2009)

And so, it's the beginning of the end of the Elijah Dukes Era in D.C. Manny Acta hates him (or, rather, strongly dislikes him, since, as Manny pointed out on his blog yesterday, "I try not to use the hate word in my vocabulary."). Mike Rizzo hates him. And his teammates...well, we're guessing the Nationals clubhouse is a happier place today.

Then there's this interesting tidbit from the Washington Times' Mark Zuckerman. Dukes showed up late to work today just before learning of his demotion. Maybe he should've called in sick?

There is one other angle to all this, of course, and that is Dukes' non-playing issues. There are still plenty of people in the organization that don't believe he has the right attitude to succeed up here. And that feeling was only strengthened when Dukes reported late to the ballpark this morning. Yep, players were supposed to be dressed by 10 a.m. Dukes didn't arrive until after that, at which point he was told of his demotion. (via Chatter, 7/1/2009)

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The Baseball Gods really do hate the Nats.

(AP Photo. Maybe Joel Hanrahan could've saved the day in the 7th? Nah.)

"It's like, what else can go wrong? I'm beginning to think the baseball gods really do hate us."
(Adam Dunn, via Washington Times, 7/1/2009)

Just when you think you've seen everything...

Marlins 7, Nationals 5: Recipe for disaster. Marlins. Walks. Errors. Bullpen. Rain.

The Nats might not ever beat the Marlins again.

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Operation De-Bowdenization Begins...

(Photo by Reuters Pictures. Let's face it: Lastings MIlledge was set up to fail in 2009.)

"And what we got, we addressed two of our biggest needs: athleticism and speed and defensive ability in center field ... and a bullpen guy that we can have control of for the next three years."
(Mike Rizzo, via Washington Times, 6/30/2009)

"We are open for business. We improved two of our greatest needs. We have a great character guy in Morgan. We have our center fielder."
(Mike Rizzo, via Nationals dot com, 6/30/2009)

Piece by piece, Mike Rizzo begins dismantling Jim Bowden's monstrosity. If only Mike could tell you what his two greatest needs are.

Nyjer "Nook Logan sans HGH" Morgan and Sean Burnett are a bandaid at best; certainly don't address any of the long term needs.

And so, we bid farewell to Lastings Milledge and Joel Hanrahan. Hello Nyjer Morgan and Sean Burnett. *shrug*. Okay.

Kearns or Belliard will be gone tomorrow. We're putting our money on Belliard.

But we're still not sure why the organization was so quick to give up on Milledge, though. "Attitude" issues aside, he was set up to fail in 2009 - he wasn't a centerfielder, and he wasn't a leadoff man. And it showed. But I thought this Plan (uppercase "P") business was all about upside, and keeping an eye on long term goals?

Meanwhile... Nyjer Morgan is pumped up! And judging by his enthusiastic response to the deal, he seems confused about which team he just got dealt to:

"My thoughts, I'm pretty pumped up, because I'm flattered when you have a team like the Nationals and they really want you. I'm almost out of words."
(Nyjer Morgan, via Nationals Journal, 6/30/2009)

A team like the Nationals? Well, at least he didn't compare them to a 600 lb. J-Lo.

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