Enquirer Exclusive! Nats sign Queen Latifah!

"Pitching, pitching, pitching!"
(JIm Bowden, via The Nationals Enquirer, 12/07/2007)

Bowden can't be stopped! '08 Rotation shaping up!

According to sources with no knowledge of the situation, the Nationals capped a busy week-plus, which included trades for Lastings Milledge, Elijah Dukes, and Tyler Clippard, the signing of Aaron Boone, and an extension for Wily Mo Pena, by signing Queen Latifah to a minor league deal with an invitation to Spring Training. According to unnamed sources with no knowledge of the situation, Latifah will compete for a spot in the rotation, and will also be responsible for helping Lastings Milledge (a.k.a. L.Millz) explore his rap career. Sources tell The Nationals Enquirer that Manny Acta is promising a starting job in center to L.Millz in exchange for a few Toby Keith tunes. Stan Kasten unavailable for comment.

Meanwhile...

Be thankful you're not a Kansas City Royals fan. Or an Orioles fan. Enjoy those extra 15 days of vacation, Jose and Jay.

Yahoo! Sports' Jeff Passan pegs Winners and Losers from the Winter Meetings. One of his losers? Jim Bowden? He explains: "Elijah Dukes needs a coterie of good doctors, not the Washington Nationals' GM trying to rescue him. If there's an upside, it's that Lastings Milledge will look like a choir boy in comparison." Like we said earlier: Elijah is just misunderstood!

CP looking for Glove in all the wrong places...

Somehow, I think I'll miss that tough love story...

(AP Photo by Tony Dejak)

Comments

[harper]

Hope she doesn't give up too many "Living Single"s! Ha!

U. N. I. T. Y.. U. N. I. T. Y. that's VORP + OPS - DIPS!

[The Nationals Enquirer]

Ah -- nice one harper!

[J]

Actually, I think losing Jay Gibbons for 15 days will actually HELP the Orioles. Maybe Angelos & Co. can ask MLB to give him the Pete Rose treatment.