The Nationals Enquirer

Happy Holidays, Nats Fans: Do you know where your starting catcher is?

The new starting catcher for the Mets was out soaking up the Holiday Spirit in NYC yesterday, meeting his new team, calling out cheaters, house hunting with his wife, kissing babies, and posing for pictures.

The new starting catcher for the Nats is keeping busy breaking little kids' hearts and hiding out like a mobster rat in a witness protection program.

It hurts a little. But then again, we got Lastings Milledge and they got Brian Schneider & Ryan Church, so it doesn't hurt that bad!

Thanks for dropping by this year, folks. See you in 2008! (Go Nats!)

(AP Photo/Kathy Willens)

Fick Off

It's about ficking time: Fick signs minor league deal with Padres.

Sounds like people either love him or hate him out there.

Somewhere, his buddy Da Meathook is shedding big, fat guy tears...

(Photo by Haraz N. Ghanbari/AP)

All Quiet on the Steroid Front

"I talked to the parents individually and said, 'Paul is probably not going to be here. If you want your money back, you can get it back. But we're committed to it. We'll give you the same instruction back as Paul would give.' They all stayed."
(Ray Alonzo -- of Paul Lo Duca's Baseball Camp, via AZ Central.com, 12/19/2007)

Mum's (still) the word for Lo Duca. And he no-showed for 25 kids at his own baseball camp in Arizona...

Should be hearing from him any day now, right?

Will he go the Roger Clemens route or the Brian Roberts route? Or will it be more of a "Get over it" route?

Wonder what type of suspension Bud'll hand down: 50 games?

Meanwhile...

'08 Schedule released. No parking spaces = three weekday afternoon games, but that's ok, The Nationals Enquirer staff prefers night games during the week anyway. Hey, how many days until pitchers and catchers report?

Mysterious "off field issues" contributed to FelipE's terrible '07. Not surprisingly, he's looking to bounce back in '08!

(Screen capture from All Quiet on the Western Front with an assist from The Nationals Enquirer Staff)

The end of the Elijah Dukes Era in DC?

 

"All I will say is that we have been working with him on a number of fronts since the day of the trade...And since that time he has been cooperative and responsive to all of our requirements."
(Stan Kasten, via Washington Post, 12/18/2007)

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