The Nationals Enquirer

Stand By Me

"He ran with freedom and didn't pace himself or anything. So he's ready to go."
(Manny Acta, via Washington Post, 3/31/2007)

"Devastating."
(Jim Bowden, via Washington Post, 4/1/2007)

Cory Kasto Kory Casto sent packing to Columbus.

Next question: How long will Manny Acta stick with Nook Logan and Ryan Church?

Next question: Why did Manny feel compelled to hand out starting jobs to Nook Logan and Ryan Church (before the start of Spring Training)?

25 Man roster set, and Casto should be on it.

(Once again, apologies for the embarrassing photoshop hack job above. We're looking to hire an intern to do this kind of crap for us.)

Final Tuneup

Battle of the Beltways Lite: O's 6, NAAAts 3.

Nationals lose final meaningless game of the spring; appear ready to commence losing many, many, meaningful games starting Monday.

Let the games begin...

(Photo by Evan Vucci/AP)

2007 Nationals Progdown Blognostication Credibility Challenge*

Ball-Wonk threw down the gauntlet yesterday.

The correct answers are as follows:

1. Nationals season record:
76-86
2. Nationals NL East division place and games back (if any):
4th (21 GB)
3. Date on which Nick Johnson first appears in a Nationals game:
Tuesday, Aug. 15 vs. Philly.
4. Date on which Nick Johnson suffers season-ending injury:
n/a
5. Nationals team leader in pitching starts, with number of starts:
Jerome Williams (25)
6. Total number of starting pitchers used:
12
7. Number of ejections for Manny Acta:
0
8. Guzman's batting average, on-base percentage, and slugging average:
.270/.365/.311
9. Nationals home runs at RFK:
60
10. Paid attendance for the July 21 game against Colorado at RFK (our only Fox national broadcast of 2007):
21,252.

(*Post title courtesy of Ball-Wonk)

Ticket Troubles

"We obviously heard about the problems that had existed in the past [under MLB], and that's why we changed shipping companies...Obviously, there's much more that needs to be fixed."
(Stan Kasten, via Washington Post, 3/27/2007)

Kasten rethinking decision to fire DHL, hire a donkey to deliver tickets.

Season ticket holders aren't happy, but look on the bright side: you might be better off WITHOUT tickets if the NAAAts are as bad as some people say they'll be. (The Nationals Enquirer believes they won't finish last in the NL East.)

• Bergmann will be #5 to start the season. Here's Mark Zuckerman's assessment of Bergmann's performance yesterday: "Horrible in the first, solid after that." Here's Robert Fick's assessment of Bergmann's performance yesterday: "He showed some [guts? cojones?]. And nothing against him, but you know, we haven't seen that out of Bergmann yet, and that's pretty special."
• Felipe Lopez, quietly having a bad Spring at the plate as he makes the transition from short to second, took a day off yesterday because of a stiff neck: "Those pillows at the hotel are really thick."
• Call him Rogearvin Roger.
• NAAAts fading in Grapefruit League race.
• Mark Lerner almost positive there will be enough parking at the new stadium.

March Madness

"I think we're leaning more to trying to find out what Casto can do here because of his age and what he represents for our organization...If Casto is going to be here, he's going to play."
(Manny Acta, via Washington Post, 3/26/2007)

Will it be Casto in left and Snelling on the bench, or Snelling in left and Casto on the bench?

Nook's Groin solves the Kory Casto "problem" for now...A trip to the DL probable for Manny's centerfielder of choice; and another vote of confidence for Ryan Church (centerfielder by default) by the organization: Rogearvin Bernadina?!

Rosterwise, there's too much to keep track of, so we won't bother repeating everything, but these items deserve your attention:

• Simontacchi's Groin will keep him out a few more weeks, which means that the 5th slot in the rotation will probably go to Jason Bergmann unless he goes out and stinks out the joint or injures his groin.
• Travis Lee quits to save himself from the indignity of backing up Dmitri Young -- so Da (Defensively Challenged) Meat Hook is handed the job at first.
• More trouble for the Alleged Ace: "I turned pale white. Everything was spinning." Gosh, that weekend dehydration/near fainting spell/IV hookup doesn't sound encouraging.
• Saturday, Hill good. Sunday, Chico bad.
• Roster whittled down to 30.
• NAAAts fading in Grapefruit League race.

(Photo By Doug Benc/Getty Images)

Ace of Hurts?

"I'm pleased with where I'm at right now."
(John Patterson, via Washington Post, 3/24/2007)

He says he's pleased, says his arm feels great, but is everything OK with the Alleged Ace?

Nationals, Patterson whistling past the graveyard?

His 9 innings have been a mixed bag this spring; reportedly his velocity was up yesterday, but his breaking stuff was off. One more start scheduled before Opening Day.

(Photo by Rick Silva/AP)

Sweet 16

NAAAts lay a good ol'fashioned 16-2 beatdown on the Astros.

No doubt about it: Jerome Williams secures his spot in the rotation with 2 hit, 5 inning outing.

Too many highlights to list from last night...here's the box score. In lieu of actual video footage, please accept the above video clip as the highlight reel. (I listened to the Astros broadcast on MLB Audio; it sounded like the guys in the booth were ready to invoke the mercy rule by the 7th inning.)

• Meet the new Agent Zero: Levale Speigner. Still hasn't given up a run this Spring.
• I'm in complete agreement: they're gonna be bad, but not historically bad.
• They'll probably wait until the last day to send Casto down, right?
• I guess this means Chad Cordero won't be traded to the Red Sox. Sadly for Jim Bowden, that means no package deal involving Wily Mo Pena.
• Mitchell Page.

Enquirer Exclusive! Gerald Ford to Throw Out First Pitch?

"Bush said no. Not this year. We asked, but the scheduling is too tough. But that's OK. We have asked former President Gerald Ford to throw out the ceremonial first pitch on Opening Day. At least he can't say 'no'."
(Stan Kasten, via The Nationals Enquirer, 3/19/2007)

Bush a no-go, so NAAAtionals ask former President Gerald Ford to throw out first pitch on Opening Day at RFK.

(Photo from thehistoryplace.com)

Spring Cleaning

First order of business: Was that Frank Robinson in the stands at Space Coast Stadium last night? 

Meanwhile:

• Roster Shock: Michael Restovich doesn't make it!.
• NAAAtionals battle to within 5 games of first place in Grapefruit League with gritty 9th inning comeback and 6-5 win over Braves! There's still time to win this thing.
• Mark Zuckerman thinks last night spells the end for Tim Redding (but he's  probably still got a lifeline thanks to Simontacchi's groin). Jerome Williams pitching for a job today.
• In case you missed Jim Bowden's column in the Examiner yesterday, don't bother: Oleanders and Morning Glories broke it down into perfect bite size pieces for you and me yesterday.
• Don Sutton: Ok, I know he knows his stuff, but he's kind of boring to listen to.
• Nick the Thick: Good news for Nick Johnson, who started running off some of those extra LBs yesterday.
• Long live The Svrlog! Glad to hear he's gonna keep it going during the season.

(Photo of TV screen butchered by The Nationals Enquirer.)

Pedro Atrocious

"You have to have depth and you have to prepare for injuries, and we're just not happy enough with our depth to protect ourselves."
(Jim Bowden, via Washington Post, 3/21/2007)

NAAAtionals rescue Pedro Astacio from Viera, FL nursing home, sign him to Minor League deal.

It's all about depth. Because you can never have too many stiffs in the mix.

Enquirer Exclusive: Astacio says he kept in shape over the winter playing Bocce.

Meanwhile:

• NAAAts win second straight (four scoreless innings for Chico), claw their way back into Grapefruit League race with 3-0 win over Marlins. Just 6 games back...there's still time...
• The looming catastrophe that is the 2007 Nationals is encouraging a bit of soul searching among several Nationals bloggers. I'm guessing that by the time August rolls around, roughly half of the hundreds of Nationals blogs will be dead. There's a 50/50 chance this will be one of them.

(Once again, we apologize for the inexcusably bad photoshop skills of our staff. Just terrible.)