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December 2007

December 21, 2007

Happy Holidays, Nats Fans: Do you know where your starting catcher is?

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The new starting catcher for the Mets was out soaking up the Holiday Spirit in NYC yesterday, meeting his new team, calling out cheaters, house hunting with his wife, kissing babies, and posing for pictures.

The new starting catcher for the Nats is keeping busy breaking little kids' hearts and hiding out like a mobster rat in a witness protection program.

It hurts a little. But then again, we got Lastings Milledge and they got Brian Schneider & Ryan Church, so it doesn't hurt that bad!

Thanks for dropping by this year, folks. See you in 2008! (Go Nats!)

(AP Photo/Kathy Willens)

December 20, 2007

Fick Off

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It's about ficking time: Fick signs minor league deal with Padres.

Sounds like people either love him or hate him out there.

Somewhere, his buddy Da Meathook is shedding big, fat guy tears...

(Photo by Haraz N. Ghanbari/AP)

December 19, 2007

All Quiet on the Steroid Front

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"I talked to the parents individually and said, 'Paul is probably not going to be here. If you want your money back, you can get it back. But we're committed to it. We'll give you the same instruction back as Paul would give.' They all stayed."
(Ray Alonzo -- of Paul Lo Duca's Baseball Camp, via AZ Central.com, 12/19/2007)

Mum's (still) the word for Lo Duca. And he no-showed for 25 kids at his own baseball camp in Arizona...

Should be hearing from him any day now, right?

Will he go the Roger Clemens route or the Brian Roberts route? Or will it be more of a "Get over it" route?

Wonder what type of suspension Bud'll hand down: 50 games?

Meanwhile...

'08 Schedule released. No parking spaces = three weekday afternoon games, but that's ok, The Nationals Enquirer staff prefers night games during the week anyway. Hey, how many days until pitchers and catchers report?

Mysterious "off field issues" contributed to FelipE's terrible '07. Not surprisingly, he's looking to bounce back in '08!

(Screen capture from All Quiet on the Western Front with an assist from The Nationals Enquirer Staff)

December 18, 2007

The end of the Elijah Dukes Era in DC?

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"All I will say is that we have been working with him on a number of fronts since the day of the trade...And since that time he has been cooperative and responsive to all of our requirements."
(Stan Kasten, via Washington Post, 12/18/2007)

And the Public Relations Nightmare continues for the Nats...

...more domestic violence charges against Dukes.

Quick, someone take away his cell phone! And sign him up for the 2008 Winter Caravan! We need pictures of Dukes surrounded by smiling children. And kittens. And Screech!

Meanwhile, the Nationals Enquirer staff is starting to warm up to the idea that maybe the Elijah Dukes gamble just isn't worth it. Interestingly, the latest incident(s) happened before the trade. Was it bundled up with everything else as a known issue? Or did someone in the front office just not do their homework?

We're starting to think it might be time to end the Elijah Dukes Era in DC before it had a chance to get worse (and chances are, it will).

Update: Case dismissed; charges dropped.

(AP Photo)

December 17, 2007

Roid Rage

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"It's safe to assume I prefer knowing things ahead of time to not knowing things ahead of time. I don't want to speculate on what any team might have done had they had different knowledge or not...We knew nothing of the names that would be included. I will not speculate on what might have happened on anyone on our team, other than to say, 'I'm disappointed when I see any name on the list that was associated with the Nats'."
(Stan Kasten, via Nationals dot com, 12/17/2007)

Stan on Steroids, HGH: Kasten breaks Nats' silence on Mitchell Report, but doesn't (or can't) really say much.

Stan says team got blindsided by Lo Duca being named.

Would love to know if Lo Duca's alleged past as a drug dealer (not just being named in the report) was a total surprise to the team, or if there were whispers out there like the ones the Red Sox investigated surrounding Eric Gagne? Did someone just not do their homework?

(Photo by John Bazemore/AP)

December 15, 2007

Kingdom comeback

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"Would I love to come back and put the Nat uniform on next year? Like I told Bowden, 'Hey, I'm a free agent.' . . . I'd love to come back here. It's a great situation."
(Ray King, via Washington Post, 09/05/2007, shortly after being traded to Milwaukee)

Return of the King (albeit to a minor league deal) means the possibility of another season of fat jokes!

But let's be honest, there's another fat guy free agent we'd be much happier to welcome back to DC!

Meanwhile, no Mitchell Report honorees named with the addition(s) of Rob Mackowiak, Willie Harris, the return of Jesus Colome, and minor league deals for Pete Orr and Mike O'Connor...

Nats interested in Prior & Jennings?

(Photo by Evan Vucci/AP)

December 13, 2007

Lo Blow!

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Kirk, Sorry! But for some reason they sent the check back to me. I haven’t been able to call you back because my phone is TOAST! I have a new # it is [Lo Duca’s phone number is listed here]. Please leave your # again because I lost all of my phonebook with the other phone.
Thanks
Paul

(Paul Lo Duca, in a letter to Kirk Radomski, via The Mitchell Report, pg. 257)

And you thought Elijah Dukes had character problems!

...not that the alleged extra-marital affair with the 19-yr old and the whispers about another little habit weren't a tip off...

Hey Nats fans, don't forget to boo Lo Duca* just as vehemently as we booed Bonds* last summer, ok?

Hey Bud, does this mean Jesus Flores gets to start the first 15 games of the season? Will P-Lo* get the Jose Guillen treatment?

Meanwhile...Nook Logan!? Seriously? The only player less likely to be named was Jamey Carroll...

(Photo by Rick Silva/Associated Press, with an assist from The Nationals Enquirer staff)

Bud's Big Day

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"I don't want anyone to say there was something to hide, and we hid it. No one can say it was a whitewash"
(Bud Selig, via Washington Post, 12/13/2007)

Mitchell Report goes public at 2 pm EST...and Bud's got nothing to hide.

We already know about Guillen, but what former or current Nats will be among the 60-80 names?

Will the "mystery" of Alex Escobar finally be revealed?

(AP Photo)

December 12, 2007

Hooray! The Big Pattsy signs on for another year!

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Patterson, Ayala, Wagner sign deals.

Another year, another $850,000 for hyperbaric chambers, homeopathic injections, lasers and frequency-specific microcurrents for John P! Let's just hope he's ready to go by Spring Training (just don't mention the "A" word, ok?)

Pretty much the end of the road for Nook Logan & Mike O'Connor.

(AP Photo)

Enquirer answers the mailbag!

So, it's been fairly slow around these parts the last few weeks, no? Anyway, we're a few days late responding to the latest edition of the Nationals dot com mailbag, but we figured we'd take a crack at it to take a break from trawling the internet for pictures of Paul LoDuca's girlfriend. As always, keep those e-mails coming to Nationals.com, and we'll keep copying and pasting them over here and giving our half-assed answers.

What are your thoughts on the recent acquisitions made by the Nats in the last 10 days? How improved is the team now that they have acquired Milledge and Dukes?
-- P.G., Gatineau, QC. Canada

We'll assess the Milledge, Dukes, Clippard, Boone, and Lo Duca acquisitions as follows: great, good, good, ok, ok. How's that for  analysis? More importantly, I think Mr. Sportsbog himself put it best today when he asked: "...is it possible for one baseball team to get more bloggable in a two-week span than the Nats just did?"

Will Milledge and Dukes adhere to the team's rules and improve their character? Will Dukes and Milledge take advantage of Young's amazing comeback mentality and devotion to the team?
-- B. W., McLean, Va.

Sure, hopefully both will benefit from Da Meathook's presence, but I'm not sure it's fair to lump Milledge's supposed character problems in with Dukes' troubles.

I just don't understand the Brian Schneider trade. All I hear is how great he is as a defensive catcher and how great he was at handling the numerous pitchers the Nats had last year. Why did they trade him anyway?
-- B. D., Chantilly, Va.

I'm gonna skip this one, ok? But I will say that the best part of the whole deal is not having to answer mailbag questions every week about how Ryan Church keeps getting disrespected by the organization.

I've heard the parking situation over at the new stadium is going to be a real mess. Any ideas to solve the problem?
--Stan K. , Washington, DC

We floated several different ideas during the past year, but no one bothered to return our calls.

You have recently written that the Nats don't have anything in the Minors to help them at leadoff or behind the plate. What happened to outfielder Brandon Watson and catcher Brandon Harper? If the team's goal is to develop its own talent, then why not give some of these guys a chance to play?
-- K.W. Mooers, N.Y.

When did I write that? Anyway, I'm not sure Watson would've ever developed into a good fit as a leadoff hitter, but I never really understood what happened with him, why he wasn't given a fair shake. Harper, I believe, just started another Nationals blog -- or maybe I have him confused with someone else.

I was curious what you thought the future of Justin Maxwell is with the Nationals?
-- C. W., Brooklyn, NY

Hmm...little bit of a glut in the OF these days...

Since the Nats are looking for a catcher to fill the gap between now and the time that Flores is ready, what is the possibility that Javy Lopez could be given a shot? Lopez was an excellent catcher with the Braves and he seems to be the type of player that could contribute if given a second chance.
-- C. S., Springfield, Va.

I thought the same thing about Matt LeCroy, but Bowden wouldn't return my calls.

What are the chances of the Nats keeping Felipe Lopez?
-- A.C., Atlanta

I say keep him around -- he can't do worse than last year, right?

Why is the organization so committed to Ryan Langerhans? He has very little upside and with the Nats already having an abundance of outfielders, where does he fit in?
-- W.S., Reston, Va.

Committed? I wouldn't go that far, but maybe Langerhans has incriminating photos of someone high up in the organization or something.

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